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Possible homicide, bodies missing from cemetery after eclipse

As Question Mark’s only dignified and yet exceedingly affordable cemetery, it brings me great displeasure to report that several burial plots at St. Casimir's were disinterred sometime during today’s solar eclipse and that cemetery groundskeeper Barney Towns was also discovered brutally slain on the cemetery’s hallowed grounds.

Like many of you, I had joined my fellow citizens in the town square to view this celestial wonder and, as a cemetery, our security needs are generally very few. But when I returned to the grounds after the eclipse, I discovered poor Barney’s body. Never one for formal trappings, the state I found Barney’s body in was beyond comprehension, as if he had been turned inside-out.

Additionally the remains of at least thirty individuals have been removed from the cemetery grounds. Many of these disinterred seem to come from the Historical Section, including Ames Rifle factory founder Lawrence Ames. There are also one or two missing remains from the Wildwood Section and French Sections as well. Certainly more is at play than the simple wholesale theft of trinkets, rings, jewelry, and gold teeth?

The local authorities have been alerted, though we all know how ineffectual the QMPD have been in resolving the murders and many, many disappearances in town. I, for one, will not be holding my breath. One wonders what sort of community this has become when our sole cemetery is no longer acknowledged as something sacred.

Posted by Gus Stephens on April 8, 2024