Your Town Government
A Letter from the Mayor
April 15, 2024
I had planned on sharing my thoughts with the town at the Annual Mayor’s Address on Saturday but as so few of you attended–though I know I should not be surprised–I will repeat my comments in this less-than-illustrious forum.
Elizabeth Zisk is the longest-serving public official in town history, seen here in her official portrait.
After facing every sort of catastrophe over the last year–from missing street signs to missing pets to missing statues to missing children to entire buildings disappearing, a fire, flood, time stopping, time going backwards, a series of unsolved murders, one Void, seven Voids, no Voids, and just this week, thirty bodies being stolen from St. Casimir Non-Denominational Cemetery and time itself seeming to break down–I believe I have now lost the capacity to be shocked.
As we find ourselves in the midst of another cataclysm where Willey Envelope and even the town hall keep appearing and disappearing, I can no longer feel anger, embarrassment, or even disappointment. Even as some of us have worked so tirelessly to help this town thrive and prosper–namely me, that Bookman girl, and her very weird internet coterie–there have been others, so many others who have tried to bring me and this town to its knees.
Even my dearly beloved husband Thompson–with one harebrained pyramid scheme after another–became a burden until his untimely demise. Other men have come and gone from my life–yes, I have known other men–and they all failed to live up to even the lowest of expectations.
But what I have learned is that, like this town, I am a survivor. In the 1980s while I was working as a spokesmodel for an infomercial for Gladiator Blenders, I inadvertently injured myself on set, slicing open my pinky. I smiled through more than three additional hours of shooting and repeated the same inane line over and over until the director finally called cut. And although I can no longer feel any sensation in that particular finger, I learned an incredibly important lesson that day about inner strength and determination.
I, like this town, have known hardship, grief, loss, failure, and even humiliation. And regardless of the nature of this latest tragedy, we will continue to face these challenges together. No one, nothing can stop us as long as we keep on believing.
Mayor Elizabeth Zisk