Welcome to Question Mark, Ohio

Town Announcements

Join Us For The Final Eightcellerator Test Today.

Citizens of Question Mark,

It is my privilege to welcome you to the future, a future of endless possibilities and unprecedented change, one where we will be free of our corporeal forms, and free to pursue human thought and feelings without the limitations imposed by Time. Because today, we test the magnificent Eightcellerator, the culmination of a lifetime of work.

Ever since losing my dear sister in a horrible environmental disaster in Aberfan, Wales in 1966, I have been searching for a way to transcend the imposition of a narrow, chronological human experience, and have spent the last forty-five years with the singular mission of escaping the coil of mortality. In that time, I lost my father, my wife, and my daughter, and the inescapable grief caused by those individual losses, only sharpened my mission of one day finding a way of stepping beyond Time.

Today is that day, my dear citizens.

For after today, each of us will come face-to-face with EELAH, a cosmic entity that exists beyond human understanding, and together we will take a giant step in our evolution as human beings, allowing us the opportunity to reunite with everyone and everything we have ever lost as we transverse the universe as beams of pure, radiant light, forever intersecting in both Time and Space.

I should mention that yesterday, several citizens in your town attempted to shut down JULIA, the AI overseeing our test. For several hours, JULIA remained offline, but I am pleased to announce that I was personally able to initiate a manual override this morning and the test will proceed as planned.

As all of us are well aware, there is no such thing as stopping the future.

If you plan on attending today’s Eightcellerator test locally, there is parking in the south lot but please be prepared to show identification. Any threats to the security of the test will be resolved with startling finality.

If you are unable to make it to Question Mark this morning, we will offer a live stream from deep within the Eightcellerator, where you will be able to witness this remarkable moment in human evolution first hand.

Posted by Alastair Applenight, New Tomorrow Industries on May 4, 2024