Of course my Mayor Elizabeth Zisk Ice Skating Ring and Town Memorial groundbreaking ceremony has been canceled due to another impending catastrophe, because what is the point of breaking ground on a beautiful Town Memorial and Ice Skating Ring if the entire town is apparently disappearing or rebooting or whatever is happening this time, who can keep track.

Whatever it is, it was my mistake to believe that this town could ever overcome its insistence on complete and total mediocrity. In the end, the seemingly-unending ways this town continues to disappoint me will perhaps be its most lasting achievement.

Or is it possible this is the lesson I’ve been struggling to learn through painful, unflattering repetition year after year?

If you recall, I had been a spokesmodel when my late husband Thompson Zisk discovered me and first lured me to this dismal town. And even then I had a sense he, and this entire region, underestimated me, saw me only as a pretty face with unimaginably gorgeous hair and a sophistication well beyond my years. And it was through Thompson's terrible financial bumbling, fraud, political stumbles, and eventual death by misadventure, that I found my way to political office and discovered something I had secretly always known: I was stronger and smarter than anyone had ever given me credit for. And no mischief, no malfeasance, no personal tragedy, no loss would ever stop me from being the single greatest mayor this town ever had and apparently will ever have.

And so, in the end, Question Mark, it is I that should thank you: Through your fumbling, lurching, lack of appreciation, and innate ability to disappoint, I have found a strength within myself not dependent on any husband, any partner, any political party, any man. And that is a far greater and more useful gift than any Town Memorial and Ice Skating Ring that might never be constructed.