Hey there, I’m Gerald Ames and I’m also running for Town Council as an independent. Currently, I am assistant librarian at the Question Mark Public Library. I really love my job but think I might be able to help this town out with a few things as well.

I support books, computers, and the internet, as well as funny pets. I am against disappearances and murder. I also think maybe it is not such a good idea to turn a scientific discovery like The Void into a tourist attraction. In my opinion, a discovery like that should be carefully studied.

Here’s a photo of my cat Constable Odo reading that I really love:

Some of my ideas are: why not use computers to do things people don’t want to do? Like on Star Trek? Wouldn’t that be better for everybody? What if Fridays were spent reading all day in comfortable sweaters? Wouldn’t that be creative and fun? Also, what about pets at the library? Like dogs and cats in different sections? Couldn’t that be a thing?

Again, I am very much in favor of computers and very much against further disappearances and any murders. If this is confusing for you, just think Gerald Ames: for–computers and cats, against-disappearances and murder.

Finally, because this Town Council seat has opened up under such unfortunate circumstances, I want to offer a moment of silence in the memory of Tom Childs, whose steady hands have kept my car clean for years. Please, take a moment and remember your fondest memory of Tom.

OK, I hope your memory made you as happy as mine made me.

I guess that’s all you need to know about me, but if you'd like to know more I've set up a campaign website. It's not the best or anything, but it's something.

Excelsior!