Quentin Quinn has been found. Alive even! However, it is not without some confounding complications.

On behalf of the entire Question Mark Police Department, I want to extend a grateful thank you to FBI Agent Adam Oberman for his assistance in locating Quentin Quinn, who was recovered from a 300-year-old well in the Question Mark woods earlier this afternoon.

The Quinn family is deeply appreciative of all of the effort from both the FBI and the QMPD in finding their missing son and returning him home. Although the boy has implausibly aged at least ten years, his family is overjoyed to be reunited with him.

Even if this latest conundrum only presents more outrageous speculations, the QMPD is glad to have helped solve this difficult case. And even if no one, even Agent Oberman, can reasonably explain what happened to the boy or why he has returned a decade older, I am still glad to be able to put this case behind us.

I used to be a man who relied on common sense and the kindness of others to keep law in this town and now I do not know what I can rely on. Anyone interested in this position can reach out to me directly.