Due to personal reasons that I would not like to share with the whole town, the 80’s Hard Rock Record Enthusiast Meet-up held every-other Saturday in the Town Hall parking lot is cancelled indefinitely. I had a long think about it this morning and there's just a lot going on right now, what with Beth leaving and I think Lindsay hates me and Gary is a handful if we're being honest, at least sometimes. I mean he's a good kid, they're both good kids. It's just a lot, I think. It's a lot.
Also, please stop throwing water balloons at police vehicles. It’s getting tiring, people. I know that many of you are upset about your missing pets and your missing other things and we are doing our best. It doesn't help policework to be sitting in your car and to be hit with a water balloon and then having to do the rest of your shift with your pants wet in front. Remember we are people too and we all have a lot going on. A lot.
Also, and this is more specifically to Glenn Warner in vital records: cancelling the 80’s Hard Rock Record Enthusiast Meet-up does not in any way affect my position in the KISS Army, for which you of all people know I am a dues-paying member in good standing since 1979. Please don't make me come by the office, you know it creeps me out.
Also, Beth if you see this I am sorry?